Woman With A Dark Aura
This tiny painting – not much bigger than what you see here – is my first work of art this year. Normally I do a small painting, start to finish, on New Year’s Day, just to start off the new year on a creative foot. But this year, January 1st found me sick in bed with RSV, which took a two-week bite out of my life. Another week was spent catching up and dealing with the after-effects of this nasty virus. By the time I was able to carve out a few precious hours to paint, more than three weeks had gone by.
So I did this little color sketch of my lingering impression of being sick, curled up in my own dark aura, feverish and withdrawn, surrounded by the bleak tones of winter. This is not a happy image. I don’t often express negative emotions in my art. This is an exception.
A friend and I got into an email debate as to whether “dark” implies something negative. She argued that dark is not bad, that it is interior, receptive, beautiful, like the night, or the dark of the new moon. I could not disagree, but countered that in literature, poetry, and musical lyrics, darkness has long been associated with difficulty. “These are dark times” is a common phrase to convey a sense of misfortune or suffering.
Yet clearly, some people think differently about darkness, including my friend. I respect that.
I could have changed the whole message of this painting by changing the title. “Woman With Crossed Arms” or “Solitary Woman” would convey an entirely different impression. But dark she is – painted on dark paper, enfolded in darkness, emanating darkness, as I did while my illness dragged on. Two weeks is a long time to be sick.
Then there is the darkness of winter. The long nights are undeniably dark. To some degree I welcome this interior time. At the same time, I crave sunshine, and welcome the gradual return of the light.
This is actually my second version of this painting. The first one failed, as I chose a dark textured rice paper to work on, which absorbed the paint in a way that made it spread. I had only one small piece of this paper, and had never used it before. I tried to fix the problem by using thicker paint, but it didn’t work. Plus, I drew the woman wrong.
So my very first painting of the year was an exercise in trial and error. Even after decades of experience, success may still be built on failure. The creative process is not a formula, it’s an experiment. This little painting is far from my best, but I want to share it precisely for that reason. In terms of generating reflection at least, it served a purpose.
What does darkness mean to you? Feel free to share your thoughts simply by responding to this post. I love hearing from my readers.
So far, 2024 has been a typically creative journey: full of unexpected twists and turns, including delays. Guess I’ll have to roll with the punches and see where the path leads.
A good week to all –
D Yael Bernhard
http://dyaelbernhard.com
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